The problems with having to deal with a brain which is naturally inclined towards writing are compounded when one also has almost no will/ energy to write. One finds that the brain continues to come up with little nuggets of themes, scenarios, miniature skits and the subconscious mind is preoccupied in trying to complete that scenario, finish that joke; its almost a constant wilful effort to try and NOT think of that clever little turn of phrase that the brain was so meekly putting forth, especially so when one is supposed to be doing tedious work in the day and be on planning calls to put together the plan.
It is in itself a task to stop trying to complete the imaginary scenario that is so obviously *there* but just a little out of grasp, so deliciously inviting that one can almost see the ending but cannot seem to quite land the approach. And as it so often happens, it is at that precise moment that the perfect words had revealed themselves or the punch line was within sights, you are rather rudely disturbed by that silence of death on the call which now when you recollect had preceded a very familiar sounding phrase, something to the effects of " Arum (because my parents wanted gore people to butcher my name), Arum, what do you think?" And thats when you have to instantly kill the letters and drown the phrases, try to recollect the generic topic of this particular call, to buy yourself some time, one might start with I...... um... think ---- that... and then try to agree with the whoever asked you the question to begin with by peppering in a whole lot of inconsequential fillers like "perhaps, this seems to be the best of all the bad options out there" or "it is what it is, and we are where we are" or gems like "given the constraints this seems like a sensible option but I will circle back if additional issues surface" like who circles back? What I really want to say is, paisa dedo mujhe jo karna hai karte phiro :|
Anyway, now that you have given your generic, yet liberally garnished non sequitur of an agreement, you try to focus on the mind numbing conversation just enough so you can ask a very hypothetical question which usually gets a "great question" badge and then proceed to again be hijacked by random words which MUST be strung together as if to be put in their God ordained place or a single line which has to form the most funny part of the joke be rescued from the trenches so as to complete that awesome, award winning and clever joke, which is often just repeated in its entirety silently accompanied by an equally silent sneer and forgotten forever to be left in the place where all things forgotten go to.
While writing this gem of an entry about constant mental hounding from inconsequential and underdeveloped ideas and the ensuing challenges to my mental capacity, I, for no reason got the image of a man faking to be dead with a giant bear in front of him, now, again, no reason or rhyme but it is there. Man pretending to be dead, huh? Theres a though! Lets ponder on this concept then, inaction = life saved? I have no way to verify if that is actually true (well I do, I could google it, but I am trying to not google things because I think that leads to also just fill our head with additional stupid facts which we dont want/need and people just confuse knowing with wisdom, and obviously, I am nothing if not a fountain of wisdom) I must have heard someone tell me thats what you are supposed to do if you, (me, who never as much as gone on a hike) happen to be in a jungle, alone, unarmed (not that I actually know how any arms work, mine included sometimes) and run into a frigging bear, you are supposed to lie still or fake die, and the bear will piss off.
Now again expanding on that concept of doing nothing equals winning in the jungle, think of the most junglee thing in a home, the most annoying, dangerous things in a domestic environment, i.e. the bundle of joys, the light of our eyes, those little angels, who will fall asleep selfishly whenever the hell they want to, but when its been a hell of a day and all you are asking for is the sweet release of sleep, they can lie in the bed for long lengths of time but not do the one thing you desperately want/ pray/ be willing to sell your soul for, i.e. sleep. Ah, theres another situation where laying still as if one is dead might be actually one of the good solutions ( the other being killing yourself basically). The little minion will check on you for a while but after several checks they also seem to give up the game and close their precious little eyes, awwww! (FU!)
So there, I know there is a joke there, human nature to react, everyone harps on about virtues of hard work, being lazy and doing nothing is so underrated, blah blah blah, actually in some scenarios, doing nothing is the best action, throw in the bear reference, talk about the baby thing, and close off with umm, well, I think... how about... Gandhi! Yes, Mahatma Gandhi! He basically did nothing when he asked all of us to just not cooperate, like you know what? I wont kill you or fight with you, I will just you know, refuse to make you tea or biscuits as long as you don't quit India (or smoking, I cant recall) or learn to not murder peoples names! Thanks Eaarrrum!
But you know what? I will circle back because we are either sharks or those shopping carts whose front wheels are broken so if you push them they tend to go in large circles? Yup. Thats what I deal with, since forever. :))
